You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize