We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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