If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize