Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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