Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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