DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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