Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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