The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
