at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
