Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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