She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
