Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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