When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I could make wine with my vomit
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
