Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pants are for mortals
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
