The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
