My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
