you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
