Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
