ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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