Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
