Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
