My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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