CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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