my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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