I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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