question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
