so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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