i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
