I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
