My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hippo gnu deer
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
