i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
