i already hear my dad disowning me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize