do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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