Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
