I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize