I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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