the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
