guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
