Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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