No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
