I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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