so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
