well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
