never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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