you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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