They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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