Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
