when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
