we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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