i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
