She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
