Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just made out with a guy for $7.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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