I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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