After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
