Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
