Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
