Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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