I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize