ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
